dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
