Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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