My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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