She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Hippo gnu deer
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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