all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
