all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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