fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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