He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
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I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
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I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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