Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
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