He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
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