There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
He passed out mid-signature
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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