Yo dont text me then not text me
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
