We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
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