Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
