What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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