Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Randomize
