I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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