Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
