is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Just took my morning after pill in the library
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
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