ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize