I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Girls should come with a carfax report
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
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its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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