The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
