At least make sure they are 18
Why
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
