HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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