Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
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I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
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She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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