Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
