the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Randomize
