It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i think my tv is drunk
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
