No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
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