he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
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I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I need to calm my uterus...
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
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