im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Randomize
