the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
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our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think my cat just said my name.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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