it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
