You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
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When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
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He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize