I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
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OPIZZABONMYDICK
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
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who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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