I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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