Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
no you cant smoke seaweed
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
