all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
