our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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