Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
