Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
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