so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
