Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
