I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
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