Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
