dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
