I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize