yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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