That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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