btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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