I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize