The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
