I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize