my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
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