It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
