She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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