That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
