Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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